i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
