my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
