glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
