who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
