Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
