walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
