I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
