My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
