You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
