Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
