Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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