the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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