Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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