So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
