based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
