please come you make the beer taste better
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
