16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
