We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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