he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
