Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
