when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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