he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
