Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
