i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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