I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
