high people should be assigned attendants
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
