Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
