:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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