worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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