dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
