quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
