I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
