guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
