so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
