just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
