Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wish there were birth control emojis
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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