Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
