is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
