I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i've created a new STD.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
