Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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