you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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