I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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