so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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