we're blogging at a bar
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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