I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
