it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
