don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
