After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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