Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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