shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
