Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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