I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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