the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you never un-have a 4some
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
